Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Incredible Saga of Middy and the Pork Chop.

Let's just open with this:

You're welcome.

Our story begins...

I love eating pork chops. I mean, I love pork in general, but I love me some pork chops. Especially when they're accompanied by rice & gravy and black eyed peas. Fun Fact: Rice and Gravy is my favorite food. It's a staple in Louisiana, and you'll be hard-pressed to find someone in Acadiana (Southwest Louisiana) who doesn't like it.

Literally every Cajun ever, when Maw-Maw or Momma makes Rice and Gravy. *Imagine that instead of Krabby Patties*

But back to the story. Ian is not a fan of certain pork cuts, like tenderloins or chops, but he'll eat bacon, sausage, and dumplings. He's from upstate New York, and Italian, so I feel like it's not his fault that he's a mutant. Long story short; I think I've had a ONE pork chop in the TWO years that we have been together. Let me repeat myself. ONE pork chop in TWO years. I miss eating them so much! They're so tasty! And they're usually served with my favorite food! I mean, I've had rice and gravy several times, so I'm not suffering from a drought in that department, but I'm missing my pork chops hella bad.

Then the most splendiferous thing happened...

I was out shopping with my mom, aunt, and uncle, when my mom stopped in the meat case and started looking at pork chops. She called me over and said. "Don't these look good? If I cook some on Monday, would you want some?!" I knew that she wasn't really asking if I wanted some, but that she was waiting to hear my reaction. Which was in true Middy fashion: "Hell yeah I'll eat some pork chops!" I was so excited that I was finally going to eat some chops. FINALLY.

My Aunt and Uncle were in town, so she cooked them this past Monday night. I work the late shift on Mondays, so Ian and I went over after work, visited with every one, as they were going back to Louisiana in the morning. I fixed myself a few containers of beans, a pork chop/gravy, and rice. I put them all in a bag and joyfully drove home knowing that I was going to make a pig out of myself during lunch the next day. We were also sent home with 2 gallon-sized bags of watermelon. Awwwwww yeah!


When we got home, I asked Ian to put away the food, which he did. I know that he had to make room for everything, because it's clean-out-the-fridge-time, and we were waiting until right before we move to clean. Anyhoo, we watched some tv, and went to bed. Ian was gone by 5:30 this morning, so I was left to my own devices in the morning. I showered, brushed my teeth, but my Summer Reading shirt on, and went into the kitchen to get my lunch. I. WAS. READY. I opened the door, pulled out one bag of watermelon to bring to work and started grab my containers, except they weren't where I thought they would be. So, I looked around some more. Nothing. Gone. I was like, "Where the fuck is my lunch?!?" I was pissed, because my food was gone. I turned around to walk away, and there it was. My bag of awesome deliciousness. ON THE COUNTER. HOT. UN-REFRIGERATED. Left out overnight. I literally went, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHO HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Utter heartbreak. I texted my mom, and Ian. All caps. There was a lot of visual shouting. I was so fucking upset. All I wanted was to eat some fucking pork chops. IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD TO DO?!?!? NO! It's not. But apparently, when I try, it is. Because it's me. No pork chop for Middy. Womp Womp.

This was me this morning

However, this story does have a happy ending. Luckily, my mom had ONE MORE EXTRA PORK CHOP, which I will be picking up as soon as I get off of work. I AM SO EXCITED TO EAT MY DAMN PORK CHOP.


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